challenge #8: the reveal

Dear Holly and blog followers,

this weeks challenge was a total flop. what started with enthusiasm and positivity crashed and burned. but, not without an interested story and a good lesson.

stage 1: jen is super excited to do a great big painting. i love love love just attacking a canvas, especially without a real plan, just letting the image grow as it needs to like a tree. so i turned on some music, threw away my initial drawing, set up my canvas, loaded my giant brush with paint, and began.
stage 2: jens painting begins to dance. as i was painting, i kept adding layers, and with each layer the position of the figures moved. sometimes there were 6 hands hands, sometimes just two, it was very exciting to watch as my subject came alive and seemed to do what i was painting.
stage 3: jen keeps having to remind herself the goal of this is capturing happiness. over time the colours start getting a little muddy.... i think my mind started to drift to past memories and get a little sad as it got later in the evening and the music got more mellow.
stage 4: jen decides the painting needs a jolt. and heres where it falls apart. i decide to add black india ink?! shouldve known this was a stupid idea. ink cant be painted on top of, it just bleeds into the colours and makes everything dirty looking. but i did it anyways. for some reason i felt the painting needed to go this destructive route.
stage 5: jen is afraid. the painting is now really creepy looking lol. its dark and sad, not at all like bachata.
stage 6: jen feels better. at this point i stepped back and looked at the sad wreck of a painting. and that sad wreck, now being on an object 5 feet away from me, made me feel better that it wasn't in me anymore. and i realized that the next step of the painting must be moving on.
stage 7: jen starts again. i covered the mess with layers of gesso, and prepped the canvas for a new image. one that will definetly be happier, because i got out the sadness and am ready to start again with a fresh slate :) not this week though lol.

so holly... lol k let me just say, my intention was not to be rebellious. i really wanted to nail this one. but i think i did. not visually of course. but i did something i love to do, and while i couldnt paint happiness honestly because i just didnt feel it, i think this challenge brought me to happiness by its end: an ending that is followed by a beginning. i feel much much much better, much more at peace. it was wonderful therapy! thankyou!

ahh this feels so sappy.... :P